Saturday, June 27, 2009
Since I started this blog back in March I haven't really gone in any particular direction. I've only been posting quotes I find inspiring, email & articles I really and the occasional "personal" experience. Needless to say, it's not doing much for me.
Since I've been 'stricken' with this affliction I call 'Bloggers Obstruction', I've decided to re-title my blog & get a new layout, as well as take it in a different direction. Because of what happened with my last blog with the same people who purposely set out to ruin my career & marriage, I've held back in my writing due to fear of 'being found' in my new little home in cyberspace. That approach, however, doesn't make me feel better or comfortable. In fact, it only makes me feel worse and goes against everything I believe, stand up for & have tried to teach my God-daughter.
So, from now on, I'm going to actually start posting about things that matter to me. I've had a HORRIBLE 26 months, medically, and I supposed you could say, "Six years," if you count the 'stalkers' who have been trying to make my life miserable for as many years. I am going to use this blog as a means to help myself heal, and if my story is able to help one person, as cliché' as it is, even if it's for a second, a few minutes, just to make them smile or to let them know they're not the only one out the who feels the way they do, that's good enough for me.
All I've ever wanted to do in life, besides be a wife & a parent, is to make a difference, and it's only been recently that I realized I don't have to touch hundreds, thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people's lives to make a difference. Making a difference isn't about numbers. It's about the people you touch & the difference you make, no matter the size, because what may seem miniscule to you & me, may mean the world to someone else.
And with that, my dear readers, I bid you all a good day!!! It's almost 3am here & I begin house, dog & pool sitting in the morning. Plus, my mother & I may get to bring Beau, the 13 y/o Border Collie, who escaped Friday morning & had a heat stroke, home from the vet & give him a bath... a job NO ONE wants.
Thank you all for reading, and feel free to contact me at any time.
Monday, June 22, 2009
It's been a really STRANGE week... to say the least, so I'm going to go with something simple, and post 5 quotes from Oprah that can be found on her website along with many other great "self-help" information. This one happens to be called "5 Quotes to Open Your Heart". Can you imagine why I named this post the same?
5 Quotes to Open Your Heart
"Those who are willing to be vulnerable, move among mysteries."
~ Theodore Roethke
"Every beginning, after all, is nothing but a sequel, and the book of events is always open in the middle."
~ Wislawa Szymborska
"Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."
"Behind all this, some great happiness is hiding."
~ Yehuda Amichai
"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You are not a painter,' then by all means paint…and that voice will be silenced."
~ Vincent Van Gogh
Friday, June 12, 2009
Steve Nakamoto is an author who has written several books about relationships. The most well-known one being, Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man. As I was looking for a book on Amazon, through a series of clicks on different subjects, I got to another of his books and then to his blog. Low and behold, what was the lastest post entitled?
WHY DO MEN LIE TO WOMEN???
You could have knocked me over with a feather. So, since I like to share little pieces of knowledge, I'm going to pass this along. It's quite interesting, and I think it makes A LOT of sense once you think about it... and I'm on Lortab feeling a little "floaty". haha
9:22 AM PDT, April 20, 2009, updated at 4:34 PM PDT, June 3, 2009
I read a lot of stories from disgruntled women on my Ask Mr. Answer Man message board about men who lie and destroy the trust in their relationships. I don t defend men for behavior that is detrimental to building honesty and love. But I do think that it is useful to give women some perspectives on how they can understand men better.
The following reasons are why men choose to lie instead of telling the truth to women. My hope is that you will come to understand men better and lay down the groundwork for a more honest and trustworthy love relationship in the future.
1. SOME MEN DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH LYING:
This means that some guys are just liars and that s what they do best. Evidently, these men don t see how a lack of trust will undermine any love relationship. But since they ve never examined the issue, they will continue to lie because it has helped them achieve their short-term objectives in the past.
2. WHAT THEY LIE ABOUT IS NOT IMPORTANT:
Sometimes, a guy will slip and say something that isn t totally true because it is not very important to them. If the thing they are lying about is of little consequence to them, then what s the big deal? It s part of the freedom of doing and saying whatever they want, whenever they want.
3. SHE WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND AND WOULD MOST LIKELY MAKE IT WORSE:
This is probably the biggest reason why men lie. By telling the truth, their fear is that the woman will evaluate solely from her point-of-view and not consider his side of the story. Rather than deal with this situation, a guy will often tell what he sees as a little white lie in order to avoid setting off a chain-reaction of other unwanted emotions in the woman. However, this also becomes a convenient excuse for men that justifies their negative actions and minimizes the wrong of lying.
4. SHE REALLY CAN'T HANDLE IF HE TELLS HER THE TRUTH:
Along the same lines, the man may have a conviction that the woman cannot manage her upsets. If he lives with that woman, then it makes life at home totally miserable. If the relationship is already unstable, this added upset may lead to complete chaos.
5. IT'S BETTER TO NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL:
A lot of men see that lying by omission is a less offensive way of avoiding the truth. If the subject is not brought up at all or stonewalled immediately, then maybe the issue will go away or be dealt with when the reference is outdated and emotions have simmered down.
6. MEN WILL LIE NOW AND HOPE THAT THINGS WILL CHANGE LATER:
Lying is often a short-term solution to avoiding confrontation. Some men feel that a little bit of lying now will avoid that confrontation and that maybe things will change in the future and this will all become a non-issue to the woman. In addition, lying is a selfish way to protecting the liar without considering the other person s best interests.
7. SOME GUYS LIE BECAUSE THE TRUTH ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH:
In the effort to impress a woman and show a proud front, a man will often exaggerate, distort, or delete certain truths. That s because the truth about them may not be good enough in the man s opinion to hold the attention/affection of the woman in a competitive dating world. Once this pattern is established, a man may continue until his lies are discovered.
Lying destroys trust in a relationship. And a lack of trust can ruin even the most promising love affairs. The best you can do is make trust the higher priority and demonstrate that honesty and caring can go together when both men and women approach their challenges with emotional maturity.
I really hope I will feel up to making a reply post about all of this tomorrow, because if there's one thing I CANNOT stand, it's lying. As Nakamoto says here, "Lying destroys trust in a relationship," and I just don't see ANY need for it at all. Everything listed here is an excuse, and it's nothing but weakness and a bit cowardous, if you ask me. Besides all of that, lies hurt, and really... Do you want to hurt the person you love? Or, the one you care about? It just isn't acceptable behavior.
With that, I bid you all ado!!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
You did then what you knew how to do,
And when you knew better,
You did better.
~ Maya Angelou
This one really reminds me of my ex-husband, the true love of my life. I really like this, because I think that this is what most people really want, deep down inside.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
What a week!!! I feel like I just made that last post. It went by soooo fast. I've had 2 doctor's appointments, a baby has been born to the family, 4 other family birthdays took place and my cousin had surgery and has been staying with us since Wednesday.
I don't feel much like thinking anymore, so this is the quote for this weekend.
Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Monday, June 1, 2009
It's no secret that times have been pretty tough for me the past two years, and to be 100% honest, I've been hiding how bad it actually is. Tonight, I finally broke down, and it took a great friend, my ex-boyfriend, Andrew, to allow me to feel comfortable enough to feel like I could "go there".
Then, when I logged onto the computer to send him a "Thank You" e-card, I had an email titled "Awesome Advice" from one of my best friends, Ami. It couldn't have been timed any better. I beg anyone to try to convince me there's no God.
So, without further ado, I will share the list of "Awesome Advice" with you. **I'm also going to leave the verbage that makes it email specific in the event anyone wants to pass it along to any of their loved ones.
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say “No” to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and un-clutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the KID in YOU every day.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus.'
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself .
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people… they probably need it the most.
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. I decided to send it to more than four, because I didn't want to limit blessings.
SEND IT FORWARD PLEASE,